As I sit in this chair and contemplate what I want to share , I am overcome with fear that the people I desire to read this might reject me and go into hiding. What I want to say is this .... and you know who I am talking to. For all the misery and pain yoiu have endured , for all the times you suffered and it was because of my not being there , for all the times you have been angry and needed to talk with me but felt hesitant to do so , for all the times you were filled with fear and I wasnt there , for all the lost time, and all the lost holidays, for all the things and events i missed, for all the times now when all you feel is resentment and anger , I am sorry for all that .
 What ifs and shouldve couldve I know they might seem worthless to you , and you might feel betrayed , but know this I never wanted you to feel any of this.
     Every time I feel like putting everything I feel aside , I attemp to but it is futile I simply cannot turn off how I feel about you , I cannot put you away knowing that you could be only one second away, or you might respond.
 It is ok with me if you have things you need to tell me , I will not hurt you , that is and has never been my desire .
But if you are troubled by things in your heart, and nothing but confusion and more questions come up. How much better off would you be if you could tell me truly how you feel. unabridged, unedited, full of everything you need to get off your chest and mind and heart.  please know this , I love you!!
Period....... and always have !
 And I am truly sorry , and for the moment thats all I can do , thats all I can say . But i will not know whats eating at you so i can help you get through the feelings ,

 Now you  have heard my say over a period of time , and if the truth you were looking for was not there , I do not know what other truth there might be .

I only hope that we will talk soon and maybe some of the things that have been plagueing you I might be able to shed a light on . But I cannot do that unless we converse for the sake of the word communication, it for all tense and purposes is a two way street.